Chicago Tribune
by Dawn M. Turner
introduction to the concept of polyamory, or Polyamory 101 as I like to think of it, occurred a few months ago when I was walking with a friend across Harvard Yard. My friend, who’s in her late 20s, mentioned that she engages in polyamorous relationships.
For a second, I thought: A poly-who?
Then, my knowledge of Greek and Latin kicked in and helped me divine the word’s meaning. Still, I didn’t know it was a thing. Or, maybe I should say, a new thing.
A polyamorous relationship is one in which consenting adults openly have several deeply intimate, monogamous-like relationships, but without exclusivity. It may, as my friend described, include sex. It may not.
Confused? Keep reading.
In my mind, it’s a concept that used to be called “playing the field” if you were single and “swinging” (or engaging in an “open relationship”) if you were married. Now, it’s been repackaged and hybridized into a heady euphemism for millennials.
I must tell you that I conducted a highly non-scientific survey of several Gen Xers and baby boomers, folks between the ages of 38 and 60, and asked them if they’d heard of polyamorous relationships. They hadn’t.
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To be clear, the concept is not new. (We’re just late to the party, so to speak.) For my research, I found the websites of several local polyamory meet-up groups, one started in 2012. And it’s not strictly the purview of millennials. Older married folks are also practitioners.
So what distinguishes polyamory from “swinging” or “playing the field?”
The big difference, said my friend, is that it’s a way of negotiating a relationship — talking about how you feel and what you want in your many companionships — and not merely negotiating sex.
Additionally, polyamory may be custom made for folks who are too busy with their careers to invest a lot of time in monogamy. With polyamory, a participant doesn’t expect all (or even a majority) of her needs to be met by one person, and she doesn’t have to meet all of her partners’ needs. …