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It Took Me Until Age 32 to Live Fully As My Polyamorous, Bisexual Self — and I’m a Sex Therapist

“It’s important to note here that I thought monogamy was the only relationship option, so if I was having a crush on someone else, I had to break up with the person I was dating because it was wrong and not okay to even think about someone else. And I think that’s the only option most of us have grown up with, thanks to our monogamous-centric culture. Looking back, I now realize that I’ve always had deep relationships with multiple people at the same time, even though I only “technically” cheated twice in my life. The analogy I like to use is that I was put at a buffet of food from around the world and someone said, “You can go try this food, but you then have to stay there for six months because if you try the Chinese section and the Italian section at the same time, you’re a slut. So you need to, like, commit to China, try the Chinese food for six months. Then you can break up with the Chinese food and then you can try the Italian food.” But I thought, “why can’t I put both on my plate?”