Q. What would you like alt-sex communities to know about the Black experience?
I’m not certain if there’s anything I want the alt-sex communities to know. Instead, I think there’s more benefit in the alt-sex communities recognizing what’s already happening: Black people being active in the alt-sex communities.
And in that recognition, there’s hope that the broader alt-sex communities will engage Black community members to gain context, perspective, and hopefully, an understanding (even if just a little bit) that would build bridges where none may have previously existed.
Alt-sex, Kink, and BDSM aren’t reserved for any one type of person. Instead, the understanding should be that these are all lifestyle choices anyone can make. More and more Black people are becoming comfortable in alt-sex spaces as they are doing the personal work to get past misconceptions e.g. black folks can’t/don’t do Kink or Black folks aren’t welcome. Just in the last 10 years, I can remember going to alt-sex events across the country where I was the only Black man in the space. Fast forward to today, when I now visit those same spaces, I’m not the only Black man in the building.
That’s a direct result of the statement (one I took literally), “Don’t complain about not being invited. Go anyway and hold the door open for those coming behind you that look like you.” I’ve had enough Black people tell me to my face that without seeing me in X space, they “wouldn’t have felt comfortable” for me to stop opening doors.
Q. What can they do to better support and uplift our Black community members?
We talk about holding space for others, so let’s start there. Actively creating space and actively engaging those you want to see in those spaces is a good formula for breaking down barriers and making a difference. Merely advertising isn’t enough.
Q. What changes would you like to see?
More of the active engagement I mentioned above.
Mister-Blue (51/Black/Male/Married)
Executive Producer of MsC
International Speaker and Kink Educator for the last 11 years
Joint International M/s Titleholder 2018 & 2021 (Titleholder AKA Ambassador for the Authority Exchange Relationship Model)
Tenured Covered Master in the Leather Community