“Shame and judgment do go hand in hand—and our culture, especially when it comes to sexuality, is a shame-based one. When combined with complicated feelings about dominance and submission, pain and pleasure, we are prone to negatively judge ourselves and by extension others, in a subconscious attempt to relieve the immediate internal conflict.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-works-and-why/202308/what-we-can-learn-about-human-nature-from-bdsm