By Liz Harrison
Running a BDSM group is a time-consuming endeavor that requires two levels of communication and diplomacy – one within the kink community, and one with the municipal authorities where the group actually meets. That is assuming that the group in question does engage in quasi-public kink activities, either in a commercial or residential property. This is why group leaders tend to emphasize maintaining a low profile, and encourage participants to not “annoy the neighbors.” This usually leads to a high degree of secrecy, including when it comes to dealing with law enforcement.
Admittedly, that may be the best route to take, when one is talking about a group in a rural community, small town, or suburb. However, when it comes to groups in larger cities, it may be worthwhile to reach out to law enforcement, to build open communication with them. This may involve using a “what if” style of conversation at first, if only to test the waters, but no matter what, there are a few things to keep in mind when starting this conversation.
First, you will need to familiarize yourself with zoning laws, and any other ordinances that deal with social groups and their meetings – information that should be available at your local library, or at your local municipal building. You do not want to start talking with law enforcement if you are breaking any laws. Commercial properties are usually more difficult to deal with, since there would probably be variances of some kind needed, much like the ones required for adult book stores or strip clubs. Groups meeting in private residences can usually avoid any issues with the law, provided that there is no money changing hands for just the ability to attend an event in someone’s house. A “membership fee” collected at a social gathering somewhere other than the house usually will be fine, but even a nominal fee for refreshments at a person’s home probably would not be acceptable. As already mentioned, it’s also smart to avoid upsetting the neighbors, even if that means having your guests meet at a nearby shopping center to park most of their vehicles, then carpooling.
When it comes to law enforcement, an ounce of prevention is always worth a pound of cure in their minds. Be prepared to show proactive steps that your organization uses or intends to use when it comes to selecting participants and rules of the house when it comes to safety. While the police probably won’t want to hear about intricate details, they will appreciate “house rules” that specifically state that there are dire consequences if anyone makes it necessary to call an ambulance, in example. They will also be more likely to think that your organization is being responsible if there is a specific set of guidelines, and interview process for potential participants. Also, depending on how well communication in general goes, it might be a good idea to ask for input on this from law enforcement, because they definitely do have more experience in spotting and dealing with predators. The bottom line here is that it is a very good idea to build a good relationship with law enforcement, because they could become an unlikely ally in the future.
That brings us to potential problems in a community – groups or organizations that have already established a reputation for being generally intolerant of “different” people, whether it is a group that targets LGBT people, or a church that rails against “sins of the flesh” outside their building, or anything in between. No, it isn’t a good idea to approach them at all, but it is a good idea to keep a watchful eye on them, in case they may happen to notice your group as a potential target. This is where a good relationship with law enforcement can come in, since these groups can tend to either call for police to act against their targets, or otherwise cause enough unrest to require police intervention. If the police department already knows your organization’s leaders, and have worked well with them, there’s a very good chance that the police will squash the actions of protesters that may try to act against your group. Again, the bottom line for police is maintaining peace, and if your group isn’t causing them problems, they may view the protesters as the agitators they really are, and consider your group the true victims. Claims of corrupting morals of minors tend to fall on deaf ears when the police know very well that your group would never allow minors to be involved, for example.
The bottom line is that it’s important to stress that your group is for consenting adults only, and that while you are open to discussing your lifestyle with people that are honestly curious, you are not out there to convert the masses to your way of life. On the contrary, you simply want to have the ability to meet and interact with similar people, without bothering or being bothered by anyone else. Opposition to BDSM is built on fear, and because the participants are viewed as different, it is relatively easy for opponents to mobilize followers. While it’s not likely that anyone in the BDSM community can stop that, at least it’s possible to keep them at bay, if the people that are charged with protecting the public know we’re not a danger to the community at large.
For more writing by Liz Harrison go to: http://dungeon.theconservativefeminist.co/