Mashable
BY ARIEL BOGLE
When Google Calendar launched in 2006, breaking down the boundaries of monogamy was probably not the first objective of its engineers.
Polyamory, where people have more than one romantic partner with everyone’s knowledge and consent, has particularly benefited from platforms like Google Calendar and Google Keep.
There isn’t a great deal of technology purpose-built to support polyamory or new types of relationships. There is the Poly Life app, but it’s limited by the fact it’s only available on iOS. Apps like Tinder, while they do help people find partners, don’t support relationships that are already formed.
Google Calendar and Google Keep, on the other hand, have helped polyamorous people work out the terms of their relationships online. While Google declined to comment for this story, the company may have inadvertently lowered the barriers to entry.
Negotiating the boundaries
Polyamory stands apart from many monogamous relationships in that it’s highly negotiated — who sees which partner when, what type of contact is permitted and how much is shared.
This is where Google Calendar excels, allowing partners to work out their relationships down to the minute details. You can share all events with a partner, for example, or simply allow them to see whether you’re busy or free. Alternatively, you could build an entirely separate calendar together.
Simon Hildebrandt, 37, a web developer in Sydney, and his partner have opted for full calendar sharing. “It’s very much a personal choice with each person. It’s something that we often discuss with people in the poly community — how open you are with multiple partners,” he told Mashable Australia.
Google apps also help to keep partners on the same page.
For one 29-year-old student in western Sydney who preferred not to be named, the note-keeping app Google Keep has been particularly helpful.
On the app, which is synced to both their smartphones, she and her boyfriend keep a list of everything they’ve agreed to and issues they’d like to discuss. “It’s mostly for agreements of what we’d like to do in our relationship,” she said.
Those include the requirement they each meet a prospective partner over a number of occasions and consent to certain types of contact.
For her, using Google Calendar is also a good way to ensure you have time for yourself, something she finds vital when negotiating with multiple partners.
“Everyone is very, very concerned about making time for everyone,” she explained. “Taking into account that time … for thinking about their mental health and how much mental health time is required.” …