AlterNet
DSM-IV, which was published in 1992, defined kinky behavior as a “paraphilia,” a fancy word for any path to sexual arousal that’s not standard foreplay. The language of DSM-IV “is unclear and sometimes contradictory about whether a paraphilia is a disorder,” says Susan Wright, spokesperson for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), an advocacy group for the BDSM, swing and polyamory communities. Although the language hasn’t been finalized, it’s looking as if DSM-V, which will be published in 2013, will make it clear that a person can be kinky without having a disorder.
I followed the link to read the full article. As expected in that sort of venue the ideal of BDSM is being promoted, not the reality. I agree that in public venues we should be talking about the ideals. Among our own communities though we need to be more honest and talk about the realities.
This isn’t a game to many of us. Sadly there are a number of abusers out there using the lingo and the community as cover. Until we are honest about these two facts, problems within our communities will continue.
As is true with ANY group of human beings, there will always be individuals who take advantage of a given situation. However, particularly after the release and popularity of “Shades of Grey,” we need to make the ideal, which most of try to live up to, the priority when the uninitiated are involved in the discussion.