NCSF asks: What do you wish our communities knew about BIPoC mental health?
By Sobia Saleem, LMFT, Intersectional Care Therapy, IntersectionalCareTherapy.com
Intersectional Care is Crucial.
Intersectionality, a term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw and an idea perhaps initially expressed by the Black queer socialist activist group the Combahee River Collective, refers to the ways in which the multiplicity of identities that one holds not only intersect but they also interconnect and affect each other. Drawing on this idea, BIPoC folx in alt-sex communities quite literally embodies intersectional experiences. These intersections can influence the mental health of BIPoC folx in alt-sex communities in a variety of ways, including but not limited to sometimes not feeling entirely represented by or included in any identity-based communities. We need to make sure that BIPoC folx in our communities feel seen in the whole of their personhood and in the totality of their identities and selves.
Stereotypes and Micro-aggression Cause Major Harm.
Building on the importance of intersectionality, many BIPoC folx in alt-sex communities also face stereotypes and micro/macro-aggressions that play on both their racial and sexual identities. Depending on a person’s intersectional identity, these can range from hyper/hypo-sexualization, hyper/hypo-masculinization, emasculinization, hyper/hypo-feminization, trans-fetishizing, etc. These kinds of stereotypes and micro/macro-aggressions have a cumulative effect and can make spaces that are supposed to feel safe for already marginalized folx actually feel unsafe. Feeling like one doesn’t have a safe space to be themselves without being pulled into a stereotyped trope deeply affects everyone’s mental health. Challenging stereotypes and creating affirming spaces can combat this kind of harm.
Historical Trauma is Real.
Sometimes unintentionally, the effects of historical and intergenerational trauma can be amplified and even reenacted in alt-sex spaces. Whether intentional or not, these can cause deep pain and harm. Any play environments that access difficult histories or utilize loaded language need to be preemptively critically evaluated; such alt-sex environments must provide ample education, allow for truly informed consent, and include access to equitable and intentional negotiation for all potential participants. We cannot afford to create situations that accidentality tap into the vein of historical trauma as these situations can cause intense psychological distress. Sensitivity to history, and the ways in which history affects the present, are necessary to supporting the mental health of BIPoC community members.
BIPoC Folx Need BIPoC Spaces.
Culturally specific community-oriented events for BIPoC folx can allow for additional safe spaces. Both BIPoC programming that is for all community members and BIPoC programming that catered to BIPoc folx only can allow BIPoC folx to feel that they are included and centered, respectively, in our communities. These kinds of events and spaces can serve as alternatives for safety in the face of systemic racism that BIPoC folx may encounter in many other places, which can alleviate some of the daily, low-level stress that BIPoC folx experience.
NCSF asks: How can we better support our BIPoC community members in the alt-sex communities?
1) We Need More BIPOC Representation and Leadership.
Having more BIPoC voices in the decision making process ensures that multiple ways of thinking, being, and experiencing are included in the process of forming and informing the culture of our community. As a BIPoC person myself, I know I don’t speak for my whole community. I am but one of—very—many voices. We need many, many more voices involved in creating policy, informing legislation, planning events, educating the community, and organizing programs to ensure that we consider a diverse and wide range of intersectional experiences in our alt-sex community building.
2) We Need More Diverse Programming.
From mentorship to support groups to educational events, we need more BIPoC-centered programming—programming that is built by BIPoC folx, programming that centers BIPoC folx, and programming that considers the needs of BIPoC folx. Moreover, by intentionally considering how to center one marginalized group, we often learn transferable skills and methods for how to continue decentering dominant identities and narratives. Workshops, book discussions, seminars, guest lectures, play parties, festivals, and parades are all examples of opportunities in which to incorporate BIPoC experiences, histories, perspectives, and celebrations.
3) We Need Cultural Competency Training.
It can be difficult to undo years, even decades, of socialization that is often racist or even, for that matter, not sex positive. Many of us in the alt-sex communities have done decades of our own work to undo our problematic ideas about gender, sex, sexuality, relationship orientation, fetishes, kinks, leather, and BDSM. We’ve read books, gone to lectures, and engaged in many other forms of learning. We’ve put in work. We need to similarly put in work to undo some of the problematic understandings we’ve acquired about race. Alt-sex communities should offer their members and require their leaders to engage in trainings around race that address race as a social construction, implicit biases, stereotypes, micro/macro-aggressions, institutionalized Racism, and systemic issues that affect BIPoC folx both in the alt-sex communities and outside of our communities as well.
4) We Need to Highlight Contributions from our BIPoC Members.
Finally, to end on a bit of a lighter note, we need to celebrate our BIPoC community members! We need to shine a spotlight on their contributions to our communities! We need to highlight their achievements and wins for alt-sex communities! We should recognize the hard work, stories, and leadership of our BIPoC community members. We should acknowledge the ways in which they have engaged in community building and community creating for alt-sex communities. We should deliberately and intentionally foster and sustain a sense of belonging for our BIPoC alt-sex community members.
Sobia Saleem (they/them) is a trans, nonbinary, neurodivergent, disabled, Pakistani-American, Muslim psychotherapist who belongs to several alt-sex communities. IntersectionalCareTherapy.com