By Taylor E. Mackenzie (he/they), Science of BDSM Research Team Member
I’m Taylor, a mid-twenties white queer, greysexual, trans man. I grew up in North Carolina and now reside in Illinois where I am working on completing my M.A. and Ph.D. in Social-Industrial/Organizational Psychology with a Quantitative focus at Northern Illinois University. I have been an active part of the BDSM community since 2018 and have been a part of the Science of BDSM Research Team since 2022. My primary research interests focus on the intersectional experiences that neurodivergent and disabled BDSM practitioners have as well as examining stigmatized BDSM interests, dynamics, and relationship styles. Overall, I believe that the BDSM community tends to be much better for neurodivergent and disabled individuals than the vanilla world, but that there are still areas that we could improve upon, especially from an intersectional perspective where we consider additional identities like race, age, socioeconomic status, etc. With that in mind, I am excited to share some of what I have learned from the conversations I’ve had, the studies I’ve read, and the work I’ve done so far!
The BDSM community can help all types of people improve their communication skills. Broadly, the BDSM community is great about expecting individuals to openly communicate with each other, including negotiating for scenes but also extending all the way to the norm of asking before hugging or touching someone. For neurodivergent and disabled individuals specifically, research has found that being a part of the BDSM community can help to provide them with more tools to communicate about their neurodivergence and/or disabilities. This can look like someone with chronic pain communicating about the nuances of their experience with pain in their daily life while also desiring to receive pain within a BDSM scene. It could also look like someone with autism being able to explicitly communicate about their interests and desires, satisfying their need for direct communication.
Sensory experiences can benefit so many different types of people. Neurodivergent individuals, specifically those with ADHD and/or autism, can benefit from being able to explore different sensations, including being able to stim. Individuals with chronic pain describe enjoying experiencing the “good” type of pain compared to experiencing their daily pain, as well as enjoying being able to choose to experience pain in a way where they can be in control (to whatever extent they negotiate with their partner(s)).
The BDSM community offers many learning opportunities. In my personal experiences, I’ve noticed that many of us enjoy learning new things that we’re passionate about. This is especially true for individuals with ADHD and/or autism who might enjoy hyperfocusing on learning new skills within the BDSM community. Having more accessible learning opportunities such as online classes, local dungeons with education nights, conferences, etc. can give individuals many options to choose from so that they can gain more knowledge.
There are costs to being in the community that can adversely impact marginalized populations, including, but not limited to, neurodivergent and disabled individuals. Studies have found that some individuals describe spaces as physically inaccessible, the cost of being in the community as financially inaccessible long-term, and feeling as if some spaces are less tolerant of people’s differences. Many venues could do better about describing what accessibility looks like in their space, what accessibility tools they could offer, and/or how to navigate making accessibility requests. In addition, having events and spaces that are more affordable can allow for more individuals to be included regardless of what their financial situation looks like.
In summary, the BDSM community can be a great benefit to neurodivergent and disabled individuals by helping them improve their communication skills, being able to explore sensory experiences, and by having many learning opportunities. At the same time, the community still has a ways to go when it comes to being more accessible for diverse individuals, though this is something that society in general should continue striving to improve on, not just the BDSM community. I’ve included some sources below that are worth checking out to learn more!
References
Forer, R., & Westlake, B. (2025). Pain for pain: the benefits and challenges of BDSM participation for people with chronic pain – An exploratory study. Psychology & Sexuality, 16(4), 1210–1226. https://doi.org/10.1080/19419899.2025.2507699
Jobson, R. (2024). Thinking pain otherwise: chronic pain, BDSM, and crip/queer utopia. Feral Feminisms, 14, 22-36. https://feralfeminisms.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/04-FF-ISSUE14.1-Jobson.pdf
Kattari, S. K. (2014). Sexual Experiences of Adults with Physical Disabilities: Negotiating with Sexual Partners. Sexuality and Disability, 32(4), 499–513. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11195-014-9379-z
Kattari, S. K. (2015). “Getting It”: Identity and Sexual Communication for Sexual and Gender Minorities with Physical Disabilities. Sexuality & Culture, 19(4), 882–899. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12119-015-9298-x
Pearson, A., & Hodgetts, S. (2024). “Comforting, Reassuring, and…Hot”: A Qualitative Exploration of Engaging in Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism and (Sado)masochism and Kink from the Perspective of Autistic Adults. Autism in Adulthood, 6(1), 25–35. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2022.0103
Pliskin, A. E. (2022). Autism, Sexuality, and BDSM. Ought: The Journal of Autistic Culture, 4(1). https://doi.org/10.9707/2833-1508.1107
Sheppard, E. (2019). Chronic Pain as Fluid, BDSM as Control. Disability Studies Quarterly, 39(2). https://doi.org/10.18061/dsq.v39i2.6353
Tellier, S. (2017) Advancing the Discourse: Disability and BDSM. Sexuality and Disability, 35, 485-493. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11195-017-9504-x